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Temper Tantrums, The Tears, The Threats, The Rejects!

Arne + December 18th, 2006 + 7 replies

American Idol Kicks off its fifth season
Thirty Four make it out of Chicago to Hollywood-the Recap – 1-17-06:

Written By Arne


My, my, my, my, my, my, my, what a difference six months makes in the appearances of the Idol Judges. Simon Cowell has a new haircut, that makes him look older, Paula Abdul has grown out her hair and has gained weight and Randy Jackson also looks like he put on some pounds. As usual Ryan Seacrest looks drab in his attire selection, but he to has changed in the face, his hair is no longer blond and he looks like he is working out! What they all have in common is that the Judges and Ryan in a mere six months have aged in their appearance! They look old!

AI has returned to our television screens with as much gusto as they predicted. The show opens with auditions in Chicago. Ryan comes out looking like Ben Mulroney ‘s twin brother from Canadian Idol. Saggy Jeans and a coat that looks old enough to be Brian Mulroney's or Ryan's granddaddy jacket! We get to see recaps from past AI shows including someone throwing water in Simon's face. ( ahh the memories)

The Judges are semi-introduced to us, not many changes with them. Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest agree that that they hate each other and Randy and Paula say this is going to be the best AI Ever! ( Odd they tell us this each year) We get the usual array of thousands of diverse characters trying to make their dream come true and make it to Hollywood. ( It didn't matter that some of them could not sing!!! It only mattered that they tried out. )

We had the usual temper tantrums from those characters that tried out and didn't make it; the tears, the screaming, the accusations, the disbelief, the cursing and swearing, the astonished and the usual array of threats from those persons who thought they were Mariah Carey, Aretha Franklin, Barbara Streisand, Patty Labelle and Celine Dion all rolled into one. One such competitor ( can't remember her name sorry) threatened and advised us all globally and nationally, that they Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest are going to be eternally regretful that they passed up on the chance of having her on American Idol. She cursed, she swore, she called them assholes and she hugged a pole! The bottom line is she screeched out the song not belted it out but screamed at us, she thought she brought it and delivered, I thought she was delusional. We had the poor losers who stood in the camera putting down the singing of another competitor who made it when she didn't. She auditioned again for us, but to no avail, she didn't make it, in which I was personally gleeful that we would not have to watch someone so egotistical perform for us.

Patty Labelle, Alisha Keys and Celine Dion seem to be the stars of choice that the competitors are trying to mimic. Ryan has not dyed his hair in ages and he seems to be working out! Bravo Ryan! You still look like a dweeb, in my opinion.

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Tonight we viewed the auditions of the wonderful, the talented, the weird, the down right awful and the delusional who somehow thought they could sing. After trying two auditions one poor bloke admitted that he was probably not as talented as he originally thought, now that was an understatement.

As usual Simon had to share with us how rude and ignorant he could be with lame comments on needing a bigger stage. Having the ditsy suntanned girl that auditioned bring her mother in, all for his amusement. He further enjoyed himself when he told one guy that auditioned for the third time that he would make a good female impersonator. Perhaps he should of told that to the guy who came in a dress! Simon likes to embarrass people. He told one 17 year old not to come back and try another audition, because she was bland and he hated her prom dress. Excuse me Simon but that kid actually had a good voice, while I agree that she needed to work on enhancing her vocals, she did have talent and a good voice. I believe the word is potential. The highlight of the opener was when one of the rejects grandmothers had a firm but gentle confrontation with Simon who seemed to look uncomfortable. I was amused at seeing Simon squirming.

The Keynotes of the night, was Simon’s astonishment that they let Dave go on to Hollywood. We all remember Dave, he jumped, he screamed, but he couldn’t sing. At the very least he didn’t audition and sing for us tonight! The look on Simon’s face was priceless when Paula voted yes for Dave. Simon practically gave Dave the bum’s rush and threw him out of the audition room and then asked Randy and Paula the biggggggggggggggggg question.” Have you two went insane”? I personally think that Randy and Paula said yes to annoy Simon for their amusement, its unfortunate that Dave isn’t in on the cruel Joke. Dave by the way speaks to animals and Dave claims animals speak to him. Yup, here comes our next American Idol!!! I rather enjoyed observing the Judges glazed and amazed look at those person’s who were going to be rejected. Even more so I enjoyed the disgruntled look that we get from Simon every year when he is at his limit of having to listen to untalented wantabee’s. He gives me a good chuckle every year. Simon actually is more then disgruntled he is absolutely pissed off, with bad singers.

Out of the thousands of singers they managed to put through only over thirty potentials to Hollywood.

The next auditions well be in Denver.

Want more articles on American Idol? has the latest on American Idol!

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  1. M J replied:

    Great article! Thanks Arne!

    January 19th, 2006 at 1:34 pm (permalink)

  2. Joey replied:

    I have a feeling that, after AI ended last season, Fox execs pulled Paula Abdul into their office and said, “We defended you for a reason, now give us a reason not to fire you. Clean up your act- or else.”

    January 29th, 2006 at 2:50 pm (permalink)

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